As you’re getting ready and your makeup’s going on
You straighten out you dress and your looking at you’re to`n*(Pronounce Tawn)
You gently call my name out I reply in loving bliss
You sweetly turn your head and say does my bum look big in this
Oh does my bum Oh does my bum
Does my bum look big in this
I study you so frantically and break out in a sweat
Do I tell the truth or is a lie a safer bet
I slowly build the courage and say that you’re not fat
And no my dearest darling your bum isn’t big in that
Oh no it's not Oh no it's not
Oh your bum it isn't big in that
You stare at me mistrustfully and say oh please don’t lie
I know your not being truthful I can see it in your eye
I need an honest answer or else I’ll kick the cat
OK my dearest darling you’re bums really big in that
Oh yes it is, Oh yes it is
Oh your bum is really big in that
Your face it turns a funny shade of red and purple hue
As you grip your most expensive stiletto high heel shoe
I duck and weave and duck some more to thwart of your attack
Oh I'm so very sorry your bum isn't big in that
Oh no it's not oh no it's not
Oh your bum it isn't big in that
You turn and look so lovingly and tell me oh so sweet
Could you please retrieve my high heel shoe it's imbedded in that seat
Are you sure that I look ok now and do I suit this hat
Oh yes my dearest darling you look wonderful in that
Oh yes you do Oh yes you do
You look wonderful in that
Let me give you some advice if your going out
And your wife she asks you questions to try and help her out
Don't try and be a hero don't ever ever try
If she asks you does her bum look big
Always Always
LIE!!!
*Gaelic for Bum